Gift Ideas They Won't Buy Themselves

I’m just going to say the thing: after a certain point of giving the same people gifts year after year, you just run out of shit to give them. When you’re a kid, there’s lots of stuff you need that you don’t have money for and lots of stuff you want…that you don’t have money for. As you grow up, though, you just tend to buy yourself most of the shit that you need throughout the year.

Most of us are Marie Kondoing and donating all of our clothes that we no longer wear, so when we’re gifted clothes - as grateful as you may be, there’s always a bit of like baahhhh I just got rid of either pairs of sweatpants. This is especially true for people in the fitness industry. While it’s very thoughtful to get someone more workout-appropriate gear…since they wear that every day to work, it’s a safe bet that they already have way too much.

I also recommend staying away from the stuff that they really love, but are particular about. Take me, for example. I have thing about glassware and flatware. I will order wine or a cocktail at a restaurant simply because I like the glass that I saw someone else’s come in. For this reason, sometimes people - incredibly thoughtfully - think that flatware and glass ware is a great gift for me. In theory it is - but the things that make me really like a wine glass or not are super specific: stem length and diameter. Ratio of the foot of the glass to the bowl. I would rather just pick out my own because I need to feel the glass. Get my drift? When people love something, but are weird about it, it might not make a great gift.

Last thing: enough with the ‘I randomly walked into Homegoods and grabbed the first thing on the shelf because I didn’t get you anything and I feel like I have to. We have all been on both ends of this transaction. As the giver, we’re pretending that we put literally any thought into this. It’s the 2019 equivalent of the Bath & Body Works Lotion/Body Wash Set. On the receiving end, we have to pretend that we love our new set of notebooks with half-started drawings, or random spices. I’m not saying don't buy gifts at Homegoods. I’m saying don’t grab random shit off the shelf because you feel obligated, and then they feel obligated to keep shit they don’t like or need. Sometimes a gift card…or just a card. Is enough. Then again, if you’re already in Homegoods - you can’t go wrong with a throw blanket.

I consider myself a pretty good gift giver. I try to pay attention throughout the year to things people are saying they want, but don’t feel like they should spend the money on. So, that’s sort of the basis for this guide. Using gift-giving as a way to buy people things they’ll love, but maybe wouldn’t want to spend like that on themselves since it’s not a necessity and they can live without it.

I’m big on experience-based stuff, or subscription services that let the person try lots of different kinds of something they really like (when they don’t have a brand-loyalty thing going on). So here are a few things that you can consider this holiday season. I’ll say right off the bat that only two things I’m about to list are under $100. My general idea with this post is stuff that’s NOT at a price point where most people will go out and get it for themselves, but that might be a really nice thing for you to do for them if you can afford id (or to go in on with a few other people).

Some of this might contain an affiliate link where I get a kickback if you buy. I have never, and will never, recommend something strictly due to anything monetary. I only recommend shit I personally use and really enjoy.

For the Coffee Person

A Mistobox Coffee Subscription Mistobox.com

I have been using Mistobox for over a year now and I absolutely love it. You go on their website, set up your profile which includes things like “how do you make your coffee (drip, aeropress, etc)?”, and “how do you take your coffee (black, cream, etc).”. Through this, they ship you coffees based on your preferences. Two additional cool things: You can set the frequency to literally anything. Every 9 days? Every 17 days? Whatever. There’s no set requirement so you can have it shipped on your personal drinking frequency. Second cool thing? With each shipment, you get an info card about the coffee farmer, the roaster, and more info on your coffee. All of the coffee is sourced from small farms and small roasters. While they are not all certified organic, they do all follow sustainable practiced (according to my conversations with them). When you buy a gift subscription, it allows the individual to go on and build their subscription however they want - you just decide how many bags of coffee the subscription is for. This is a great gift for people who enjoy trying different coffees, as well as people who want to try better coffee but can’t bring themselves to spend over $10/bag (we got this for my Dad last year who only ever really drank Foldgers and he absolutely loved it). You can save $10 on your gift when you buy through this link (and I get $10 on my next order, too).

For the Baker

KitchenAid Stand Mixer (Stainless Steel Bowl, or Glass Bowl)

I just recently got into baking and held off on buying a stand mixer for a long time because they’re NOT cheap. When they went on sale during Prime Day last year, though - I got myself a nice little pink one. It ended up being too small for what I wanted to make, so I gave it to my sister who lives in a small-kitchen apartment in Boston and got myself the standard 5-Quart in blue with a glass bowl. It’s a game changer. Anyone who enjoys baking will LOVE one of these (if they have the counter space, that is). This is the definition of something that someone will actually use all the time, will ENJOY using, but might be too expensive for them to justify spending on themselves since they’re getting by without it. They aren’t cheap, and people know that, so it’s also a great gift to go in on with a few people for someone. My husband, youngest sister, and I went in on an awesome electric pink one for my middle sister a few years ago. I absolutely love it and definitely bake more because I have it. That may or may not be a good thing.

for the cook

The Flavor Bible by Karen Page and Andrew Dornenburg

I wouldn’t call this a cookbook. This book was recommended to be years ago by Diana Rodgers (sustainabledish.com and sacredcow.info). It’s exactly what it sounds like: a flavor guide. It lists every ingredient imaginable in alphabetical order, and then shows you what flavors compliment that ingredient. Say you want to make something using cherries. Simply go to 'Cherries’, and you’ll get a list of like 50 ingredients that all go well with cherries: some in bold as particularly delicious matches. It will also show you layering options, like: Cherries + chocolate + walnuts. It’s a super unique book that most people don’t even know about and a really fun way to change up your daily cooking routine.

For the Person Who Is Constantly Dropping Their Phone

Loopy Case loopycases.com or a Phone Ring from FLAUNT

I used to have a pop socket, but it would pop off my case, and I could never really get it in a position that felt comfortable. I kept seeing adds for these Loopy cases on Instagram and eventually got one and haven’t looked back since. The case offers protection (and comes in lots of really pleasing designs), and the attached silicone loop allows you to hold your phone with one finger (great for when you have a bunch of things in your hand), while making it nearly impossible to drop. I also found it much more comfortable single it moves around with your hand as opposed to having to place it in the exact right spot. The Flaunt phone rings are sturdier, easier to double as a phone stand and can be added to any phone. Flaunt also has gorgeous (but relatively expensive) cases that are likely out of what someone would spend on themselves but make a great gift. If you’ve got a Taylor Swift fan in your life, this is who makes her infamous pink mother of pearl square case.

Experiences

As I move away from buying people ‘things’ just so they have something to unwrap, I’m moving more towards buying people experiences that they can either do themselves, or for us to do together. After all, the memories you get from whatever the thing is, will last wayyyy longer than a new pair of yoga pants. Tickets to a concert, or a comedian that you can all go to. An overnight trip to a nearby city fo some quality time. Something that you know they want to do, but you just haven’t carved out the time or they wont spend that money themselves (massages are a GREAT choice here - everyone could use one but few people will spend on themselves for things viewed as a luxury). One thing I love is the idea of a dinner somewhere that is either too far a drive, or maybe too pricey for a random weekend outing, but somewhere that person really wants to go. Chefs tastings and price-fixe menus are wonderful gifts and can range anywhere from $70-$250 depending on your location and budget. If you’re in the Tri-State area, two expensive yet amazing special event dinners I would recommend are Marea in NYC, and Blue Hill at Stone Barns in Tarrytown, NY.

Some STUFF

Warm Boots Sorel.com

I know I said not buying people clothes and stuff because they probably have what they need, but this is the exception. When my sister moved from NJ to Boston, I went and bought her a pair of Sorel boots for her January birthday since I knew she’d be doing lots of trudging through the snow, but probably wouldn’t go buy herself a really high quality pair of weatherproof warm boots. ANYONE in areas that get seasonal snow could use a pair but here’s what usually happens: One or two shitty days and they think, ‘I should really get a pair of boots this year’. Then a couple of weeks with dry, but cold weather and they forget about it. Then another snow, ‘CRAP! I totally forgot to get boots and I really could’ve used them now!’. This cycle continues until eventually it’s late January and they think, ‘well, I made it this far - no use buying them now.’. This goes on and on every year and they never buy the dang boots. Buy them the boots.

Soft, comfy blankets

I don’t think I need to get into that much detail but I don’t know anyone who was never unhappy about getting a throw blanket as a gift. You honestly may never be able to have too many.

Airpods Apple.com

I know. I hate me, too. Hear me out. I resisted Airpods for the LONGEST time. I thought they were so stupid. Why in the WORLD would someone spend $180 on a pair of wireless headphones that you’re probably going to lose when the plug-in ones work JUST fine? So I didn’t buy them. My husband got them for me for my birthday last year and I am almost ashamed to admit that I fucking LOVE them. Being able to be on the phone, even just at my desk, without the chord attached (I don’t like speaker phone, I always shout), or get up and walk around. Not to mention listening to a podcast or something while I’m doing housework. They also connect to my iMac and MacBook, so if I’m folding laundry or something and don’t want to disturb what other people are doing, I can just listen on my airpods without the need for a chord. I can’t believe how much I use them. Again. A thing that no way in hell would I have bought for myself, but once someone gave them to me I found that I totally use them all the time. And yes, I did lose one and yes, I paid to replace it. Be more careful than me.